Like every GIRLS (HBO) fan I find Shoshanna Shapiro
hilarious and think she comes out with the best lines in the show (I am also
bitterly disappointed by how neglected she's been this series, but that's
another subject for another time). However, I found her the least relatable of all the
characters. I don't know if that's because I'm very English and they don't
really make them like her here, or whether it's because I'm most definitely a
Hannah. As everyone does with a girl group on TV, my friends and I each relate to
a particular character. But none of us quite fit the bill for Shoshanna. And
this, I've now realised, is because the Shoshanna in us only comes in various
stages in our life, as Shosh herself is now realising, being Shoshanna is not
sustainable.
As I approach my 18th birthday
still the Hannah in the group, the frumpier one, the one that's not quite the
most intelligent but is quite good at bullshitting that she is; I now
understand Shoshanna and I get her. I've realised, I am now in the Shoshanna
Shapiro Stage of my life. The time when I've done a Mindy Kaling, a Lena
Dunham, a Kat Dennings and realised: damn, I am mighty fine. Yes, it took a lot
of failed diets, Instagram stalking of Mindy and many a night dancing in my
underwear to Beyonce, but I'm there and that's what counts.
It's like
I'm seeing the world in a whole new light. I used to think I was confident, but
now I actually feel it. I live in a small town and have repeatedly gone back to
the same boy because it seemed he was the only one who liked me. I constantly
told myself 'there's no-one here I want anyway', and to a certain extent that's
true, but to a greater extent: there's no-one here who I'm willing to settle
for. Why give away my virginity because I think there's a stigma? I'm a SIW
(Strong Independent Woman for non-Beyonce disciples) and ‘I don't need no man’
to define me as beautiful.
Now I can
go out and I can meet men elsewhere, I realised that I don't have to be the
ugly chubby friend who gets comments like: 'when you get back from University
all the boys who said mean things about you are going to be all over you
because you'll have lost loads of weight and you'll be as thin as your sister',
or 'wow, you've defo lost weight Tilly, your stomach used to be so much bigger
than that'. I'm now the Shoshanna in our group, meeting men, testing the
waters, don't hold her down. I've rid myself of my 'Ray' and I'm ready to
discover myself. It's not sustainable and it probably won't last forever but I'm
enjoying it whilst it lasts. I'm now not afraid to admit that the cute guy at
the off-license smiled at me because I think my friends are going to go
'really? Her? Girl is delusional'. Yeah, he smiled and waved at me and that's
because not all men want every woman to look the same. My advice to any young
girl who thinks she's inadequate because maybe boys her age don't seem to like
her: you are wrong, they are wrong and be confident, be assured and when the
time comes and you get away, it'll happen. Don't wish for it to happen
constantly, it'll only get you down. And my advice to Hannah: stop pining over
Adam, go on a SIW independent woman mission and get rid of that idea that
no-one but Adam likes you because you're chubby. Any man who is worth his salt
likes a Mindy Kaling, Kat Dennings or Christina Hendricks, they like having a
woman who loves themselves as much as any man could. In the words of Danny
Castellano (World's Greatest Man) 'you're a woman, look like a woman'.
