So, the real reason I had writer's block is because I wasn't being true to the subject of my blog. How can I write about being a Strong Independent Woman and help others be that, if I'm not feeling like one? It's not the first time I haven't listened to my own advice but I'd lost my way and I didn't want to hear obnoxious, happy and strong Tilly in my ear so I avoided her. It's not bad to have times where you fall down, where you don't feel strong anymore and it's something that happens to the best of us. How can women feel beautiful and strong all the time when what is defined as beautiful and strong is always changing? Why can't we be our own role models? Answer: we can. Old Tilly,happy, strong and Tilly who felt sexy IS my role model. I want to get back to that. That feeling that I am beautiful and I can achieve anything. And I think I'm getting back there. See, it's fine to lose our way and feel down, as long as we feel like we can get back there.
I got into the horrible mindset that I wasn't happy unless someone liked me, I was actually defining my happiness on a guy, which should never ever happen. This New Year and the time away from my new friends and life has made me realise how many things I have to be happy about. Okay, so one aspect of my life isn't going the way I'd hoped but THINK OF ALL THE OTHER THINGS. I have an amazing family, wonderful friends (new and old), an education that only 50% of people in England get to have and when I'm at Uni or at home I'm surrounded by beautiful things. How can I flitter between Canterbury and Oxford and still feel bored and crappy?!This is why my New Year's resolution is to discover something new at least once a week. To get out of my bedroom and experience the city I'm in. Whether it be Oxford, Canterbury, wherever. I feel like this is a realistic goal. To focus on the positive in my life. I'm not saying that we're not allowed to feel down sometimes and that you need to pick yourself up immediately, because it's not always the case, but I am saying...don't stay down for too long and don't let the one wrong thing get you down because there will be many other things that are good in your life.
